Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize