I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
