any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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