everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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