The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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