So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
