It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
