Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
