Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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