so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
