"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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