guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
