come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
