Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
