why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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