Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My breasts were aching with rage.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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