i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
