you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
