oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
