you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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