...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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