do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
