dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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