We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We are two peas in an std pod
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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