no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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