we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
