fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
