he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
