Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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