like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize