8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
