No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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