At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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