Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
love makes seman taste better
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
