let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
