It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
did you just send me my own nude
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize