its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's not a walk of shame if you run
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
