Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
