The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
