And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
