I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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