Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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