i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
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She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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