how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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