She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize