The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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