Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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