i just wanna soil my oats bro
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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