He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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