the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize