Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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