If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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