Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
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The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize