i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
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I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
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I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.