Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome