yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
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Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
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Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.