Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize