She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
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I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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